Have you ever lost yourself? Is it possible to lose yourself? I always find it a little strange when people talk about “finding yourself”, it’s a bit of an odd statement, but I’m finally willing to admit that I lost the plot a while ago. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing, and where I’m going, all I know is I have to keep moving, and that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I can’t afford to stop, not now when I have tasted a bit of financial freedom. I also can’t afford to stop because there’s a danger in stopping, you might not be able to start moving again. Once you stop, you lose momentum, it’s hard to get it back. And yet I know I need to recalibrate.
It was so much easier to dream and to work towards something when that’s all you had to think about…when earning a living wasn’t something you have to think about. In growing up, I got lost…my dreams scattered to the wind. It’s easy to say to someone, “How can you not know what you want?” but that shit happens. Sometimes you get so lost in your choices, in taking the options that you see available to you, you lose sight of what the heart wants. I am one of those people, I lost sight, and now I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’m going. Hopefully, I will, and maybe I can re-ignite the fire that once drove me.
Choosing to be fiercely honest
I suspect it takes patience with yourself and being willing to forgive your own confusion if confusion is a crime. This is the shortest blog post I have ever written and surely goes against best practices for blogging, but I’m tired of trying to do things perfectly. I’m tired of not embracing publicly acknowledged experimentation. Yes, I’ll declare that I’m experimenting, and I don’t care who sees the failed experiments anymore. I’ve been running my life like a series of experiments since I graduated, I might as well finally admit it. I’m not trying to pretend like I know everything anymore, or that I have it together, I don’t owe anyone that illusion. And if you’re in the same boat as I am, neither do you.
Part of finding yourself involves being your own best friend, here’s why it matters: Learning to be best friends with yourself and why it matters.
I’m Yvonne, I’m 24 and I’m still trying to figure things out, still finding myself. I refuse to be embarrassed about it, I refuse to pretend otherwise…the important thing for me is that I keep moving.